I’ve been thinking a lot about how this word resonates with me. I feel as though I used to be someone who was fearless of my expression. Life happens, and sometimes wounds reopen from a hurt that was never fully healed, let alone looked at, and fear sets in. Then one day, after rummaging through the dark you find your way towards the light, ready to express once again.
Lately, I’ve been thinking about how my expression is different, yet the same, as it was years ago. While I see the differences, the sameness shocks me, and I see the ways I’ve bound myself resulting in an incomplete form of expression. On IG, people’s transformations look so seamless. We don’t get to see what happens behind the scenes, the messy growth it takes to get there. No one really talks about it. We’re just left here to stare and compare on our phones.
Let’s keep going with this expression through social media example. Years ago, I’d post about anything and everything. In today’s world, there are preconceived notions as to why people share what they do. Maybe it’s a “thirst trap,” maybe they’re lonely, trying to make money, no time on their hands. I’ll admit, this is a huge reason why I’ve hid and deleted many forms of my online expression: fear of being truly seen… and then judged. While this happens no matter what, to anyone, I walk about it differently both IRL and online. And I’ve rediscovered this fearless girl within me and we’re walking hand in hand, excited to express in endless forms no matter the outcome simply because it fills our soul.
We all have a story to tell. What’s yours? How do you feel in full expression?
The excerpt above was the original piece that flew out of my mind. It was my authentic self. Or so I thought. After sitting with it for a couple days, I began to edit it and found a completely new tone. I found it in a stronger tone. I omitted the victim sounding tones and replaced them with powerful tones… curious tones. I see how I have been holding myself back and one of those ways is acting like the victim, playing out that story over and over again. A simple change in tone, in step, in words… can make all the difference. And I am here for that. Below is the new form of expression I’m heading toward.
Expression: I’ve been thinking a lot about how this word resonates with me. I think about how my expression has or hasn’t changed throughout the years. In the ways that have stayed the same, I wonder how well it currently aligns with the person I am now. What does full expression look like? How do you know when your expression is in agreement with your mind and soul?
I think it’s beautiful when humans can seamlessly change countless times. There are those who change externally to match their inner being and there are those that seemingly look the same but have undergone a million lives – is change measured by how much is different on the outside?
I’ve reached a point in life where I look back and think, I’ve had enough of this version of me – I’m ready for the next. And so, I’m excited to see what it’s going to look like, how it’ll unfold, and what it’s going to feel like.
But the thing is, maybe I already know what it feels like. It feels like this. It feels like taking risks knowing humiliation, judgment, and criticism are on the other side. It feels like speaking my truth.
Sometimes, I think our expression can be a way of hiding what we really want to show. Or expression can be a protector, shielding you from things the ego thinks will hurt you.
TRUE expression is a beautiful thing, an art form, an act of creativity.
It’s been a wild year and I’ve stumbled across beautiful ways to express myself. Lately, I’ve been expressing through my body, discovering all the ways (new and old!) it can move, in ways it wants to move, but has been too shy to.
And it feels good to be back here, expressing through word.
What is your main mode of expression? How does your inner essence shine externally?
here i am 
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