sometimes you need a break from everyone and everything to get lost and find yourself again 

sometimes you need a break from reality to fall back in love with life, fall back in love with yourself

fall back in love with the things that brought you life 

a reset 

a recount 

to gain new insight on yourself 

and when you have new insight on self, 

you have a fresh set of eyes for everything. 

sometimes you get so hurt in life 

sometimes that hurt is too deep to heal in your everyday life

and you need to break away to redefine what love means to you

you need to reset your values and outlook on love 

and how you want to love 

and how you want to be loved. 

i walked away from something i loved deeply and that move didn’t make sense to me 

what do you do when you love someone, but you need to love yourself first? 

well, you put yourself first. no matter how much it hurts and no matter how much it doesn’t make sense to others 

this was self-care and self-love at it’s greatest and i needed to feel the highest form of self-love through isolation and give myself what i wanted, when i wanted it 

and i did just that.

and now i feel able to come back to love, and to life, even bigger and better than before 

i feel able to come back to love as a whole person who can give from her full heart and not an empty cup. 

to me, this was a lesson to take care of yourself before you fall too far into the pit 

before it gets too dark and too heavy 

this was a lesson to take small measures of self-love and self-care so that they add up throughout the days and the days don’t weigh on you 

in the past, i was in a dark place and i couldn’t see myself.

i couldn’t pour from my heart anymore

i was resentful to my students, to my partner, and to my family for not giving me enough when it was me who needed to give myself enough. 

now, i know what it takes to fill my cup.

now, my cup is full and i am full of life and the love for myself i remembered i once had

for me, getting lost to travel was not to run away, but to reset, to remember, and to rediscover. 

someone once told me that everything i am looking for is already within me, that everything i wanted to become is what i already was. 

but, words and being told is not enough

action must be followed.

and i learned that first hand… i had to see for myself, i had to show myself, and seeing IS believing.

and i believe it,

whole heartedly,

that everything i need is within me, that i was great all along. 

now, i am riding the same waves of life just with a new and better attitude

and a full heart.